A Look Back in Time: Victorian Motherhood

Mother's Day is just around the corner, which inspired me to do some digging into what Victorian motherhood was like.

Social Responsibility

Beginning in the early 19th century, motherhood was idealized in American and British cultures. No longer just a reproductive function, it had been elevated to a level infused with symbolic meaning. At the same time on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean, motherhood was becoming a social responsibility. Women were being charged with the responsibility of bringing up responsible, educated citizens. In America, this philosophy was later dubbed republican motherhood. And in order to do this, mothers had to be taught the best way to do so. Motherhood was no longer something natural and innate; it was something to be learned. Instructional publications were widely circulated throughout the 19th century which reinforced domestic femininity and a woman's focus on her husband and children and would recommend advice on raising children, proper nursery conditions, and good foods for infants and children.

The Ideal

A Victorian-era woman was expected to marry, a wife was expected to become a mother, and a mother was expected to be constantly present for her children. Marriage marked entry into maturity, but motherhood meant she passed into the world of female fulfillment. An affirmation of her identity, domesticity and motherhood were considered all the spiritual and emotional fulfillment that a Victorian-era woman needed. Even single women without children were encouraged to find work that would fulfill this need by becoming a governess or nursery maid. The same woman for whom the era was named after, Queen Victoria, became a symbol of femininity focused on motherhood, family, and domestic virtue with her brood of nine children.

The Reality

The real experience of motherhood in the Victorian era differed greatly depending on one thing: the mother's class status. Middle-class mothers spent more time with their children, breast-fed their babies more often, and played with and educated their children more than the previous generations of mothers. In industrial cities, high mortality rates were blamed solely on the working women who were not there for their children (even though factors like poor sanitation, overcrowding, and disease were truly the cause). Working mothers were often labelled irresponsible and neglectful even while they struggled with the challenge of balancing the need to work with the demands of home life.

This idealized notion of motherhood waned in the 20th century as Freudianism gained influence. Americans began to see the close-knit bonds of mother and child (particularly sons) as unmanly and what was called "uplifting encouragement" was retermed nagging. And by the 1940s, the idealization of mother was under attack by educators and psychiatrists who believed women should stop seeing themselves as guardians of familial morality, an abrupt about-face from the previous century.

A Look Back in Time: Victoria, Victorians, and Weddings

We have been so busy with all the Boulderado weddings this season that we have been neglecting our poor blog! To make up for it, I wanted to share a bit about how the Victorians have influenced our modern-day weddings. They are more closely connected than you might think. The Victorians completely reinvented weddings in their time, as they did most customs, and many of today's traditions stem from that most Victorian of all the Victorians, Queen Victoria.

When Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840, she single-handedly created the "white wedding": white flowers, white icing on the cake (dubbed "royal" icing because of the expense), and even the iconic white wedding dress can all be traced back to Her Royal Majesty's wedding. The white dress marked a dramatic departure in wedding fashion; up until then, a woman would be married in the nicest dress she owned, while a white dress was a symbol of wealth, extravagance, and status. But Queen Victoria wasn't all pomp and circumstance, as she had her wedding gown re-styled for later use. (Apparently the custom of only wearing the wedding dress once didn't appear until the mid-twentieth century.)

 Queen Victoria in Her Wedding Dress

Queen Victoria was not the only trend-setting Victorian. When her daughter (also named Victoria) walked down the aisle with the Prince of Prussia, she added choral music to her procession. (Up until then, it was tradition to just have music during the wedding reception, not the ceremony itself.) More familiar modern traditions like diamond rings and honeymooning also got their start in the Victorian era, as African diamond mines were discovered in the 1870s and travel became more affordable to the middle class.

If you happen to be a guest at a Boulderado wedding this summer, remember to raise your glass in toast to the Victorians!